Tag: loneliness

Covid app trap

I don’t know exactly how to approach the phenomena of the Coronavirus as it relates to dating. We are social animals and all desire companionship in some form. As communication via digital platforms is never a replacement for real in person interaction.

During a crisis I suspect most of us seek an immediate relief and a return to better days. If none seems within sight we may seek momentary escape via distractions, entertainment, drugs, alcohol, creativity, etc. I hope we all choose constructive destructions and outlets for our frustrations.

Strangely couples that live together are experiencing record levels of stress leading to separation. While single people are experiencing loneliness leading to stress. Neither condition should be envied. Couples may have someone that will help or harm them. Singles may need help or may be self sufficient.

Its is important to mention that mental health and addiction issues have increased among the population during the epidemic and resulting lock down. This is a time where we need to heal and take care of ourselves as individuals. One thing that can be taken from the current situation is that personal health contributes to overall health of the community and ultimately the world. Tapping into our faith and network of constructive people is very important now and always.

I said all of that to say the following: Do not allow stress, fear, anxiety, boredom and despair to put you into a position where you are not analytical of the person you have a romantic interest in. Do not allow the situation to cause you to self harm or engage in destructive behavior or companionship.

We are in a time of high unemployment, low worker participation, mass scamming and identity/financial theft. The exposing of the curruption of prominent people has given encouragement to some to live lives of dishonesty. You have to determine who is genuine and worthy of your time.

As I have written previously, I despise dating apps. Due to the the lock downs the libraries, museums, colleges, offices, even churches are closed. The places where you are more likely to encounter disciplined, moral and useful people are closed. So I never condemn or demean anyone for using apps. I just believe they allow people to be more deceptive and they take away uniqueness and humanity. The current stresses may play into the hands of players.

If used in a precise manner apps can be useful but I suspect that we put too much trust in the apps and relax our critical analysis skills.

Strange times require us to adapt and overcome. I have to accept that 30% of married couples met online and apps are the future and seem to be the only resort during the lock downs aside from arranged meetings through family and friends. One thing we never discard is keeping ourselves as a priority and protecting ourselves. Our individual wellness and happiness is needed to be able to make humanity well.

Valentine’s PavLov(e)

I am writing this as valentines day approaches. I happened on a article in a magazine where a comedian wrote a serious(I believe it was serious) article about self-love and enjoying Valentines day by herself. In short, she took the day to pamper herself at the spa and take herself out. I thought this was genius. I also though it should be done more times than on Valentines Day.

Why do we put so much thought and energy into these dates? If you are religious then Valentines Day doesn’t show up on your calendar. If you are spiritual it may not show up on your calendar. If you are agnostic or atheist you tell me, I assume it doesn’t have any value either.

These dates such as Black Friday, Presidents Day, Valentines Day, Mothers Day, and Fathers Day have no religious, cultural or practical origin that I am aware of. They have evolved as ultimately drivers of the consumer based economy. I am not insulated from this as I spend(waste) oodles of hard earned dollars on sentimental gifts I could have used to pay own my debts.

In a materialistic/consumerist environment society pressures you and guilt trips you into compliance. The network of people around you have already drank the proverbial kool-aid and the are doing to make you a kool-aid drinker buy force if necessary. The echo chamber of indoctrination can be so loud and strong that we loose sight of the meaning and purpose behind the things we do. We are so afraid of being ostracized.

There’s a thing called the Pavlov’s Dog study. Google would explain it better than I, but in effect it shows how the mind can be programmed through acts of repetition. Not to be insulting but we function similarly to Pavlo’s dog.

This Valentine’s season and maybe going forward we should not be down on ourselves that things are not romantically where we would like. Instead we ca try to think about how we can be good to ourselves like the comedian in the magazine. Ultimately the depression we may feel is a result of programming.

Patiently working

There used to be an advertisement on television that said “Wait is a four letter word.” It was funny and indicated the fact that we don’t like to wait for anything we want. Just look at all of the ways we can order products and food and even home repairs these days. Things happen more rapidly than ever.

In the case of relationships you may be single and waiting to meet that special person. It may seem as if it is taking forever to get to happiness(I hope). Things seem to take longer when you are not busy and only focusing on waiting. So I suggest while you are waiting don’t patiently wait, patiently work towards your own self development and on creating a environment and self more suited to your liking.

Are we defined by the people we are in a relationship with? The answer to that is different for each person. When people speak of us do they speak of us as an accessory to our mate or are we our own person? When we get into a relationship do we cease to be an individual? Are we now just a soup of two people? That may be romantic to some of us.

I will not answer any of those musings but I will suggest that we keep moving forward and in that process meet the traveler that is on a congruent path.

 

Featured Image by: Skeeze https://pixabay.com/photos/construction-worker-building-job-642631/