Tag: jealousy

Sabotage Pt. 2

I have written previous blog posts about friends who are threatened by your happiness and accomplishments, even their imagination of your happiness offends them secretly. The friends that try to engage you in situations where you will be embarrassed, degraded, devastated, drunk, fired, divorced, imprisoned, physically harmed, and in worst case killed.

In a blog post titled Sabotage I retold a story where a jealous friend gave a woman bad advice, telling her to engage deeper into a relationship with a musician that lived overseas. You can read the post here: https://goodguyfinder.com/2019/07/29/sabotage/ but it is not necessary to read it to understand this post.

Gossip ultimately is a terrible thing as it is a snippet of a much greater issue. Since we are not naming names, and hopefully I am using this as a example of how to protect yourself, I don’t wish this to be misunderstood as gossip. I will call it, current events.

So the current event is the younger lady she advised to go all-in with the musician is now pregnant with the musician’s child. While a new life is a blessing to the world, for a child to have the best chance the father should be present. Unfortunately in this situation the musician has advised the young woman that he will not be relocating as he has other children to care for in his homeland, but he will visit when he can. You can use your imagination from there as to how the months and years ahead will play out.

This to me is partially sad, as the woman is probably disappointed, while simultaneously realizing how silly she was to expect a musician who sings and performs hyper-sexualized music to be domesticated by her. Understandably she believed herself to be the exception, like we all believe ourselves to be, but that has to be followed by exceptional decisions for our selves.

Though I wrote the Sabotage post about five months ago, and expected things to go badly, I did not expect it to go this bad. I expected him to use her for sex, a visa, and money as she is a high paid professional. I did not however expect a child to have to suffer from her naive decisions or the maleficent advice of a jealous woman. I am confident that there were other women giving her bad advise regarding the relationship for their selfish entertainment.

The jealous people now pretend to feel sorrow for her but are actually reveling in the devastation because they themselves are miserable. Now that someone else’s life is miserable they don’t feel lower or threatened by the still  accomplished, but once perceived happy person. They achieved their goal of sabotaging her life, and if she manages to overcome and smile again, they will again be envious and seek to tear her down.

All the signals were here, there and everywhere she chose not to heed them, she sought out the advise of those who also saw the signals but enjoyed the ratchet reality show that was developing.

In conclusion beware of people encouraging you to act against logic. Beware of people who themselves engage in reckless behavior. They are acting based on emotions and if you hold yourself to be exceptional you should not make decisions that are not based on facts and stats.

 

Featured image: Ben Mortimer https://www.flickr.com/photos/mort183/

Social Media Snooping

Social media is a invention we have dealt with for approximately the last 20 years. It is debatable as to whether the world of relationships has adjusted to this new phenomena. Our non-digital reality has been affected but we have not made the needed adjustments. Social media has advantages and drawbacks. Let us start with the bad things first.

Disadvantages:

  • People can be disingenuous.
  • People can spy on you.
  • It is difficult to detach from past loves who you still connect with online.

Advantages:

  • You can get a lot of information(including spying) on a person.

As you can see above there are more disadvantages than advantages. The only advantage is itself a double edged sword but since social media is not going away for the foreseeable future it is better to use it than not.

When you meet a guy and exchange contact information. It is more important to connect to his social media than to his phone number. The social media account will give you an understanding of the following attributes/views:

  • Political
  • Dietary
  • Relationship
  • Humor
  • Family
  • Financial

By connecting with his social media you can quickly find out if you should run or keep studying. You should give yourself some time to observe, collect information and compile it to build a full character picture before addressing any undesirable attributes. If you address the attribute too quickly you may not have given yourself enough time to draw a full picture. Most importantly you should scan all his social media before having any sexual relations and ideally before you go on the first date. This will save a lot of time and can potentially protect your safety.

To identify the attributes that I think should cause you to run please see my other posts. It is also important to consider that many people have multiple social personalities. They have an account that is for the public and an account that is almost anonymous due to the unacceptable behavior they genuinely have. Therefore you have to use more senses and resources than social media. Thank you for reading.