Tag: friendship

Under the Influencers

I have not been writing much. Writing outside of academia is a thing based upon inspiration. I now understand why my uncle has been writing a book for 30 years and no one has yet read it. Couple that with the corona virus and the election and the protests, the mind gets a little jostled. I’ve been trying to write this singular post for four days. Now I think I know what the universe is trying to tell me.

I don’t belive in interpreting dreams but I believe they are our subconscious working like a program in the background of our computer. When we stop actively using the computer the resources get freed up and that background program can get more done.

So the other day I had a dream that I was working back at a retail position I had during college, but I was attending Harvard instead of my actual college in the dream. When I went to use the restroom at Harvard in the dream it was filthy and disgusting. I was shocked to see such a prestigious institution with such a unkempt facility.

In my life there are times when I have downplayed myself, and engaged in behaviors that were unbecoming of the person who I have the potential to become. Most times I did this to gain social approval or acceptance from friends and, acquaintances and even strangers. I definitely was taught better and was aware that there was a better way but at the time I was laser focused on the goal of acceptance.

Social media, movies, television, music, news, podcasts, vlogs, blogs, churches, educators, cults, friends, family etc. All these people have a goal or agenda. We have to choose wisely who we listen to and associate with. As we will overtly or subconsciously will modify our behavior to  gain their acceptance. These modifications in some instances may delay or utterly destroy us. So we owe it to ourselves to live up to the standard that will make us realize the dream of who we are destined to be.

Cut out the negativity, cut out the destruction, cut out the addiction, cut out the laziness. Cut out the people associated with indiscipline, ignorance and stagnation.

 

Featured image by: Jeff Kubina https://www.flickr.com/photos/kubina/152730867

Sabotage

I wrote a blog post about bad company. I have mentioned many times the benefit of avoiding bad company. We are like sponges when it comes to information and emotions but we are unfortunately not omnipotent.

In the past month I have overheard one woman encourage two other women to engage in reckless behavior, all while doing it with a smile under the auspices of friendship. In one occasion she congratulated a young single woman on her new long distance relationship with a musician. Read that sentence again. A long distance relationship with a musician. Is that a paradox or oxymoron or a fairy tail. Anyhow in that instance she had not had much choice but to congratulate her as she was basically screaming it from the rooftops.

Having worked with a few entertainers I would say there is a maybe a 99/100 probability she is not the only one. Although, if that is acceptable to her, it is acceptable to me and that’s great, but that wasn’t the impression she gave. Also there were some financial things involved that made it even worse and you will have to refer to the movie Casino, specifically the relationship between the characters of Robert Dinero and Sharon Stone for a visual. I will not elaborate here.

On the second incident I observed her encourage another young woman to just let go and be free with a guy she just met on Tinder(I hate apps) the same day. The young lady in question has had a history of poor decision making, some even life threatening.

What kind of friend is this you may say? It is what they call a frenemy. Someone who enjoys being in your company and likes to se you fail in order to feel better about themselves. They may not be happy with the terrible reality they have made for themselves and would feel much better if they had company in their suffering. When you laugh, smile, travel, graduate, get attention, or are successful at anything, they feel it is an attack on their person. They want to be included in your comings and goings so that they will have breaking news of your failure.

They can be easily identified as they to bully or manipulate you into behaving according to their flawed modus operandi. They gossip and slander other people who they call friends. People such as these are why you have to refer to traditional tried and true methods of reasoning and courtship.  I am going to conclude by saying, I don’t exaggerate when I say people like this can get you literally killed. You have to asses the conditions in which they live on a deep basis and determine if they are speaking from a place of anger, hate, bitterness, clarity, joy, love or envy.