I have been busy researching how to develop a hair product for about two months. So my inspiration to write has been hindered somewhat. You don’t get many apiffanies regarding relationships but reading PubMed, Heathline, WebMD and Wikipedia. Sometimes inspiration finds you though.
I was scrolling through my Instagram feed when I saw a post from Financial Times. The British financial newspaper had posted a chart depicting the ways in which heterosexual couples meet over the past twenty years or so.
The chart showed that the majority of couples meet online primarily and at bars secondarily. If you have read my previous posts, I believe those to be the two worst places. Well actually I believe online and dance clubs are the worst but if you dance in a bar then that’s a club to me.
Online dating and clubs eliminate the benefits provided in the declining meeting situations. The ones on decline are: Church, Neighborhood, Family, Friends, College and Workplace. Those places and institutions allow your potential mate to be vetted by people who genuinely care for you.
Meeting a stranger at a bar or online alone is a risky business. It goes without saying how many Law and Order episodes probably start like that. A social order not only vettes your love interest but also ensures that you are not acting wreckless or silly or making a fool of yourself. As we can get caught up in the excitement and put away our common sense.
Apps and bars total to approximately 70% of how couples meet according to the chart in 2017. Also Pew Research Center, men 25-34yo who never marry is at 52% as of 2010 and climbing. The Pew report is seven years older than the Financial Times report. I would posit the prime age men who never marry is closer to 60% presently. The two numbers I just mentioned if anything says, whatever the majority of people are doing, is probably not the best thing to do.
We all would like an easy and happy life but life isn’t always happy or easy. We would like to be left alone to be free to make our own choices but we need people to save us when we are in trouble. In my opinion the best strategy is to learn from others’ mistakes. Save ourselves a lot of time and losses. Use the network of family, the right friends(not all are good) and the right environment to create the conditions for a safe and sustainable relationship.
Good Guy Finder 