If I told you 16% of the US population had no health insurance in 2007 would that number of people deserve attention? Politicians thought so and we are still discussing the uninsured now even though its been cut to under 9%. Now if I told you approximately 25% of the population of the US ceceeded causing the Civil War. Would you say that’s a significant number of people who deserved attention and consideration? Abraham Lincoln apparently believed those people needed some serious attention.
Recently I watched a documentary series in Netflix called “Explained.” They had an episode discussing monogamy and whether it was natural. The answer is no it is not natural and especially in the case of men. Additionally approximately 30% of people in a monogamous relationship want to see multiple people. For the majority I believe this episode states the obvious. If it was not obvious it hopefully helps some of those who invest so much into a person’s expected fidelity that news of their infidelity tears them apart.
The only person who we can know completely is our self. We owe it to ourselves to be honest to ourselves. It is difficult to be 100% honest or vulnerable as we may fear being chastised or punished by others. Honesty gets compromised when there is a selfless interest involved.
In a raw example. A person who falls into the 30% mentioned above may enjoy you physically but they may also welcome a endorphin release from a physical interaction with another person or other people. Their brain did not chemically reprogram when they met you. Social constructs dictated that they conform to an over fidelity. Therefore to avoid persecution they covertly engage in an endorphin release with someone else.
So in conclusion. If you expect your spouse to suppress their chemical and animal nature they must subscribe to a social, moral, religious, philosophical system that keeps them inline with your expectations. Without much thought easily that would fall into the Judo-Christian religions. Still that is no guarantee, as we are aware of the many stories of infidelity and/or sexual hypocrisy of the highest priests, pastors, preachers and deacons etc. It takes a lot of observation and studying to figure out if someone has a high or low probability of infidelity not just their overt morals. The takeaway from this discussion is not to invest your sanity in your partners fidelity. There’s a 1 in 3 chance they have a wondering eye.
Featured photo: https://www.flickr.com/photos/gageskidmore/23943126089
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