Sick doctor

We most of the time, with sufficient consideration know what is the best thing to do. Somehow we find a way to end up not doing the best thing. It may be that we enjoy things that cause dysfunction or we are not observant of the relation between cause and effect. Maybe we feel dispair and don’t want to execute the solution.

Most things are easier said than done. Some people say talk is cheap. Talk is cheap but it might be more valuable than thoughts that are never vocalised or recorded. Speaking thoughts or writing them gives them a physical presence. For instance this blog. I could have kept my thoughts to myself, and that would probably be best for the world but for me it is therapy. When I read my old posts, I find things I had forgotten which I wanted at the time to remember. My past self is essentially teaching my present self. If I never wrote these thoughts down, I could have spoken them to someone and they may remember, or not, then the apiffany would be lost.

I’m getting off topic. Basically theory is easier than practice. We know what we must do but end up not doing what is necessary. You might encounter a doctor who smokes cigarettes or has a poor diet. They are on the front line of the causes, symptoms and results of poor choices. They have the most knowledge but in practice do not follow the theory.

How awesome and proud would we be if we resisted temptation, explored opportunity, developed our skills, mind, body, spirit and environment? All it requires is a first step and a focus on the person you dream yourself to be.

Nothing is absolute. There will be things to attempt to distract, dissuade and disappoint you but if we as much as possible live up to the standard we set for ourselves we will average on the up side in the limited time we have on this plane.

Homeostasis

I like the word sustainable and this other word homeostasis popped up in my consciousness recently. You already know homeostasis is synonymous with balance and it’s word associated with health, at least in my wacky vocabulary.

More often than not we are moving from crisis to crisis. One drama or problem after another. Another unexpected bill or expense another thing that disturbs us from our state of rest(if we can get it). Never a moment where everything is in its proper place and calm. This just raises our stress levels and causes us in effect to become ill. It also causes us to loose discipline as we try to treat our stress with self medication, that may turn into abuse, whether food, drugs or other.

I believe minimalism to be a great way to eliminate a good chunk of the many variables that come our way. Minimalism is mostly referred to as a way of saving money but that is only one of the many benefits. It also lowers the amount of worry and stress. The more stuff you have to deal with the less rested you are.

The human body, in relation to digestion for example is minimalist in my opinion. When we eat, the body extracts the nutrients and eliminates the excess. If we are constantly accumulating stuff and bills and stresses and disturbances it is in effect a body that is eating but not eliminating waste. We hoard things that we may never use, people that are useless(or harmful) and stuff we may not want. Its constipation.

Accept it or not, we are heavily influenced by our environment, social circles. Remember watching Saturday morning cartoons and the toys that used to be advertised. That is how you knew what toys you wanted for Christmas. The desire for the stuff was implanted into your head. Likewise your friends may tell you about this new stuff or exercise or diet they are on. This is a thought implanted into you to now investigate if not try whatever you discussed. Recently I watched a documentary called Drugs Inc, where in one episode a musician who himself was a MDMA user said that many of his fans revealed to him that they became MDMA users because the musician mentioned it in his songs. So that was an example of how those fans increased the disorder in their lives by bringing in more stuff. Stuff that they acquired because they were influenced.

I wrote a post yesterday about Miley Cyrus who in her music also referred to Molly which is a colloquial for MDMA. Being a celebrity means dealing with a lot of stuff, people, money, appointments, contracts, obligations etc. So its understandable how they could happen to self medicate to the point of abuse. Amy Winehouse, Janis Joplin, Jim Belushi, Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, etc. Nothing is absolute as in the same documentary I mentioned there were homeless people who had nothing in terms of material possession that were self medicating, but their situation may have devolved from a state where they had much and lost it due to choosing the wrong cooping mechanism namely drugs. I don’t specifically want to discuss psychotropic drugs but I do want to mention that they can cause mental illness. There are many other things we use to cope but ultimately it involves consumption or practice(for lack of a better word).

Excess is abusive to the self because it causes illness as mentioned above. Minimalism can help us to put bigger spaces between the crises, have all our bills in order, reduce our impulse to self medicate. How does this relate to dating and relationships. Well the longest relationship you will have is with yourself, so understandably you want to treat yourself well. Eliminating the excess is a path to wellness.

Nothing to write.

I haven’t had much inspiration to write. Keeping busy is very important to keeping oneself out of trouble. On the other side of being busy you sometimes neglect being thorough. So between my recent and short interest in hair care products and my new interest in starting  business I am not doing a thorough job on the blog or the hair thing.

As I am just improvising today I just had a conversation with a friend who works for DoorDash. I ended the call and when I was reading an article, a DoorDash advertisement popped up. Obviously they are also extracting words from my conversations to market products. Which sucks. I would hope my phone conversations were private.

Jumping to a different thought, about two weeks ago I read an article where Miley Cyrus stated she had an unconventional marriage to the actor dude(don’t know his name). This week they have apparently split. It goes without saying that Myley Cyrus is not a example of sustainable behavior. As said before the institution called marriage is a traditionalist institution. Ofcourse it can be modified slightly, but why bother being in a institution where you are not living up to the definition of such. For example a key opens a door. We can try to open a door with a pencil and call it a key but that wont work. Fortunately for Miley she has millions of dollars of cushion to fall back on if things in life go awry. She can afford herself the best psychologists, doctors, therapists, money managers, pastors, estate planners, lawyers etc. You can comfortably live a risky and unsustainable lifestyle when you are relatively young and have a team of advisors and fixers at the ready to pick you up literally and figuratively.

I’m not from the old school or new school. I’m more from the middle school. Double standards stink but new age reckless/unsustainable behavior probably sucks worst. I don’t know the name of Miley’s ex, but from pictures he seemed to have himself together and carried himself as a traditional and overtly respectable person. This seemed very much the contrary to her persona(post Hanna Montana). Still I didn’t expect a split, as I suspected that her behavior was just a parody akin to a Shai Lebouf, Jaoquin Phoenix, and Charlie Sheen. Then again all of those guys I mentioned were actually being serious in their eccentric behaviors. So on second thought it not an act. In recent news Britney Spears another former Disney child actress due to repeated breakdowns has retired from her Las Vegas gig.

Saying all that, we see that an overtly eccentric and raunchy persona is still not accepted, from man or woman. Privately, who cares as long as the standards opf overt decency or whatever is upheld. Many of us in private are eccentric but we are aware that the behavior may not be sustainable as it pertains to our occupation, family and even relationships. Some belive expressing yourself publicly is always right, but its still illegal to shout fire in a crowded movie theater, I think…. Things have to be done at the appropriate time, and that requires discipline and delaying gratification. This is a hard task with Amazon prime, credit cards, instant messaging, on demand movies etc. We are no longer trained to wait for the opportune moment to act. Additionally with many disrespectful behaviors in media we are being trained to behave in ways that ultimately work against our interest and in a moment can misrepresent what we stand for as a whole.

Our current social climate is one of extremism in both directions. You might offend someone even if you are a moderate. You may offend someone even if you have no opinion at all. So when I speak of Miley Cyrus it may be classed as “slut shaming” but in the context of dating and potential long term relationships if not marriage, is he behavior considered congruent? I believe she has as much right as Charlie Sheen and I find them both to exhibit unsustainable relationship behaviors. Am I slut shaming Charlie Sheen? Well I hope those I may offend at least give some credit that I have found them both man and woman not relationship material. In other facets of life they are highly trained professional entertainers. In relationships they are non-sustainable.

I didn’t plan on talking about eccentric/wild overt behavior but sometimes we have to be reminded that we are being watched. Our character is being defined by our overt actions, and even our mistakes. So we have to keep it together, delay gratification and make long term strategic decisions and commitments. Of course you could die tomorrow but I don’t think we want to die tomorrow. Its more likely that we will live and have to deal with the entropy generated by our YOLO philosophy.

Good people happen to bad things.

Why me? Why somebody else? Why even bother asking. Maybe the question is why did I create the conditions that permitted this result.

Education, study, research, meditation, observation and critical thinking are not words usually associated with navigating human behavior. That is possibly why we are surprised at a person’s behavior while others expected the behavior almost intuitively.

In my opinion intuition comes from practicing observation and critical thinking. I would go as far to say I suspect people who are considered psychics exercise a high level of people reading. Similarly sales people, con men, psychologists and others.

So if you find yourself in a relationship with a person who exhibit undesirable behaviors that means you failed to analyze them during the dating stage. Likewise if you are dating a person with undesirable behaviors you need to find a way out before things get worse. During the dating phase is when people put on their best face. There are less obligations and expectations which allows all parties to be relaxed and overlook some important indicators.

I once saw a bio on a social media page that stated [Life is hard. Suffering is optional.] While that statement does not apply universally to all satiations, it does imply that suffering is a choice and that you are in control of your life. If you make choices that place you in an environment or relationship where you are suffering, then you are partially if not fully responsible for your current station.

In conclusion I will quote another person. I usually go for a walk during my lunch breaks for exercise. A few times I stop to talk to the groundskeeper of a nearby shopping mall and he gave me this wisdom [Bad cannot come from good and good cannot come from bad.] So the onus is placed on us to create the conditions where we have relationships with people and full our environment with things that respectively practice and produce goodness.

 

Championship

I don’t watch much sports. I like to play sports when the opportunity is provided. If you ask me anything technical about football, basketball or baseball I dont have a clue.

Every athelete especially the ones that have earnedchampionship rings have faced loss. The difference with these winners is thier individual discipline,and having the right supporting team.

For example let’s take Allen Iverson. They say your life will be an inspiration or an example. He is the latter. While he had talent, he was not on a team that could support him. Also his off court acquaintances dragged him down. He lacked discipline and wanted to fit in with the pop culture of the time. He was rebellious without a legitimate cause. The fraternity that surrounded him did not provide constructive guidance.

I talk a lot about bad company, bad subculture and short sighted or unsustainable decisions. Considering all that, we have to forgive ourselves and use our resources(time) that we have left to make sustainable decisions and constructive associations.

Iverson may have had more talent than Jordan but Jordan had better advisors. Jordan lost many games in a season but averaged more wins than losses. I mean even the finals only require 4 wins out of 7 games. You may have lost the first three then come back and win a straight 4.

Try to win every time by taking control and improving your self and your environment. You may lose once in a while but that does not mean you you are not a champion.

 

My journey to the YouTube Rabbit Hole

I felt I should save a post regarding the titled subcultures until the time I have nothing else to write but without sharing information there can be potentially greater confusion.

I find that YouTube is a great resource for learning about anything but it also has a bad side. Recent reports have shown that Youtube recommends more conservative and fringe ideas and can cause someone who goes on a watching binge to fall deep into a rabbit hole of conspiracy and or conservative ideas.

I would consider myself in relationships more leaning towards what is termed TRADCON or traditional conservative but as traditional as I may be I an uncomfortable with double standards. None of us are monolithic or monochrome in our ideas and most people are afraid to admit that they agree with some of the ideals of the opposing cultural or political opposition. Admitting that you actually agree with an ideal held by your nemesis makes you feel as if your angle has no basis. That kind of rigidity keeps us divided.

Moving on to the age or acronyms, the ones above that I didn’t already describe are as follows:

MGTOW – Men Going Their Own Way

MRA – Men’s Rights Activists

INCEL – Involuntarily Celibate

PUA – Pick Up Artist

Some of the above you may have heard of. There are many more that I don’t know. Overall I am against subculture behaviors as they are too new to produce sufficient information from which to gain a safe understanding. All of these subcultures have previously existed but now they have been assigned names to galvanize follopwers and make the movements easier to market, merchandise and it saves a lot of time explaining when you have a 5 letter or 2 letter self explanatory name.

The most popular or infamous of the above is INCEL due to the mass shootings that have been associated with men who are virgins or otherwise unable to get sex. Strangely INCELS refuse to pay for sex with prostitutes so at its core, sex is not ultimately their motivation for killing. I would attribute it to social ineptitude in general which makes it difficult to interact with women primarily and men from which they would like fraternity. MGTOWs often chastise and ridicule INCELs.

The second most popular in my opinion is MGTOW which has a significant online presence and cache. It is highly monetisable(spelling) and covers a broad range of the male community. A man that subscribes to MGTOW in the most general description will not cohabitate with or marry a woman. It’s much deeper than that but ultimately that is the defining line between a MGTOW and a man on the proverbial “plantation.” MGTOWS outside of the just mentioned law lean traditional. The most healthy and sustainable MGTOWs believe in self development and are not so much woman-hating. Still they will not marry, or cohabitate.

PUAs are probably not a real movement outside of the Youtube guys selling books and videos on how to pick up women. Videos that are probably highly edited. If you use dating apps you are definitely putting yourself in PUAs crosshairs. They study weakness, but most likely do not exhibit much patience as their success is based on the law of probability. If you make 100 individual attempts to get a date with a woman, you are going to be successful probably 25% of the time. Socially they are the opposite of an INCEL as they have the social skills to interact with almost anyone. Strangely still they are ridiculed by MGTOWs as a PUAs life motivation is chasing women versus chasing their dreams(career, creative, economic, etc). PUAs ridiculke MGTOWs buy mockingly grouping them with INCELs and reason that MGTOWs only follow the movement because they have no option.

Finally and probably the most non-threatening are the MRAs. Their dating practices are not fully understood as the primary goal of this movement is to combat loss of parental privilege and or custody via state edicts. This group is probably filled with TRADCONs that had their children taken by the mother using the state courts. I don’t know much else but going through a custody battle must be a difficult experience which can cause a man to go MGTOW. A MRA is not an INCEL as they did get enough sex to become a parent. They are probably not a PUA because they are more mature in age. None of the other groups have anything bad to say about MRAs.

In conclusion, if you dive into the rabbit hole of Youtube you can find relatable stories of why people chose to embrace a certain movement, but also you can observe that many are motivated  to join a movement by pain, fear, abuse and anger. Low energy vibrations as some would call it. In my previous posts, I indicate that big cities, dating apps and the internet as a whole is a breeding ground for subcultures, undiagnosed and untreated  emotionally disturbed, mentally disturbed people. Though some of the above factions disagree with each other they all unite in placing women as a source of their problems.  I don’t intend to fear monger or demonize anyone as I believe 99.9999% of people are safe if you don’t offend them-if you offend then it goes to 90%(Scientific stats I just created from thin air.) Most people just need a break from the digital and media programming to regain their proverbial humanity. The more myopic one’s view the less human and less of a humanist one becomes. .

Sabotage

I wrote a blog post about bad company. I have mentioned many times the benefit of avoiding bad company. We are like sponges when it comes to information and emotions but we are unfortunately not omnipotent.

In the past month I have overheard one woman encourage two other women to engage in reckless behavior, all while doing it with a smile under the auspices of friendship. In one occasion she congratulated a young single woman on her new long distance relationship with a musician. Read that sentence again. A long distance relationship with a musician. Is that a paradox or oxymoron or a fairy tail. Anyhow in that instance she had not had much choice but to congratulate her as she was basically screaming it from the rooftops.

Having worked with a few entertainers I would say there is a maybe a 99/100 probability she is not the only one. Although, if that is acceptable to her, it is acceptable to me and that’s great, but that wasn’t the impression she gave. Also there were some financial things involved that made it even worse and you will have to refer to the movie Casino, specifically the relationship between the characters of Robert Dinero and Sharon Stone for a visual. I will not elaborate here.

On the second incident I observed her encourage another young woman to just let go and be free with a guy she just met on Tinder(I hate apps) the same day. The young lady in question has had a history of poor decision making, some even life threatening.

What kind of friend is this you may say? It is what they call a frenemy. Someone who enjoys being in your company and likes to se you fail in order to feel better about themselves. They may not be happy with the terrible reality they have made for themselves and would feel much better if they had company in their suffering. When you laugh, smile, travel, graduate, get attention, or are successful at anything, they feel it is an attack on their person. They want to be included in your comings and goings so that they will have breaking news of your failure.

They can be easily identified as they to bully or manipulate you into behaving according to their flawed modus operandi. They gossip and slander other people who they call friends. People such as these are why you have to refer to traditional tried and true methods of reasoning and courtship.  I am going to conclude by saying, I don’t exaggerate when I say people like this can get you literally killed. You have to asses the conditions in which they live on a deep basis and determine if they are speaking from a place of anger, hate, bitterness, clarity, joy, love or envy.

 

A fine vintage

My blog is misnamed as i said in a previous posting. I have to repetedly make it clear that though I an vehemently agaisnt double standards the comditions of our environment do not permit an equal playing field.

If you are seeking a long term relationship or marriage you are subscribing to an ancient institution. Shacking up is not nrw as only the wealthy could afford to be married in past centuries but as there was publicinterest in the institution it became more widely available, help me with that if im wrong.

I say that to adress any offence I may cause by my being a proponent of relatively Victorian ideas of courtship.

I will conclude by saying, people who want to be connosuers of fine wine dont go to the supermarket and buy table wine. The culture they subscribe to, the cult, sect, religion, group, clan whatever wine experts call thier social group requires them to get the oldest bottle they can afford. So irrespective if cell phobes, smart dick tracy watches, self druving cars, drones etc, if you are seeking tou are seeking to subscribe to an ancient practice which will require conforming or at minimum incorporation of ancient beliefs.

I just wanted to say all this to explain why my writings seem to have old cobwebs.

Forgive and journal

I have not been writing as much as I used to. I just about skipped a whole week of writing. Usually inspiration comes from the environment and from personal observation/experience. Although I have been inspired the subject matter would not relate to the blog. Specifically I have been researching holistic hair care and that is a whole culture within itself. Ultimately the sum total of holistic anything is you have to eat the right things and it takes longer to work than so calked conventional cosmetics or medicine, etc.

I’m using my phone to write this post and spellcheck is turned off so i will probably sound more illiterate than usual.

On the subject of forgiveness, someone probably said this but it is something that you give yourself. Whether you are forgiving another person or yourself, it is important to your healing process akin to a holistic cleanse. Cleanse sounds gross. Lets use the word exfoliation as I am now into holistic cosmetics.

You can’t beat yourself up because you made a mistake. You have to forgive yourself but also take note of what you dud incorrectly so you don’t repeat it more times than we like to admit.

Recently I picked up one of my favorite supplements at the supermarket and wondered why I had stopped using it. I went home and looked at the ingredients. It was because of one of my enemies the dreaded SUCRALOSE with its ties to cancer and disgusting aftertaste. This was a perfect example of not taking notes or making a journal of why I stopped using this product about 4 years ago.

Similarly we end relationships, and after an extended period of time forget the horrors that caused the break, including the warning signs at the beginning. So we end up missing the warning signs in a new or recycled love interest-then BAM you find out this person is filled with FAKE SUGAR. A bad taste is left as a reminder that you’re not taking enough notes or journaling.

Forgive yourself. No one is perfect and we are going to make mistakes as long as we live we just want to avoid repeating them and avoid making huge ones we can’t bounce back from. Avoiding hurried decisions is key in allowing sufficient mental resources to  become available to facilitate the right decision.

Evolution or revolution

Revolution implies some sort of war on the rich or the ruling class but as funky English words go it also means something rotating. Evolution in my mind brings thoughts of Darwin, dinosaurs and Dr. Ben Carson.

To evolve is to adapt to the environment in a way that will allow you to have the tools needed to make the best of that environment. Revolution is just a cycle of the same order of things over and over and not necessarily adapting to new or even existing conditions. It’s like the idiom “spinning your wheels.” Your working hard but you are not moving forward.

To get out of the cycle(revolution) of destructive thoughts and behaviors some times requires a evolution to a different way of observing, processing and executing thoughts and actions. It may require physical relocation, a change in diet, a change in social circles, a change in your preferred entertainment,  etc.

In what way and how do we evolve. We can get inspiration from successful people’s biographies. I would stay away from entertainment based celebrities as their perceived greatness or success or happiness is at times fabricated for the purposes of their field of business. Politicians similarly are masters of flattery and at times deception. So I like the stories of corporate CEOs and financial types. Especially those who have come from humble beginnings. Unlike an entertainer or politician, you have to actually produce something, study, build relationships, be diligent and mean when you must, to become a Ursula Burns, Mark Cuban, Carl Icahn, Ross Perot, etc. To evolve from operating in an impoverished to thriving in the most opulent environment takes a lot of will. Although their business achievements may not relate to matters of the heart directly they teach that learning never stops and that is how you adapt.

Adaptation and evolution are synonyms. Currently regarding matters of the hart we are all attempting to live the Shakespearian experience of Romeo and Juliet – minus the suicide – in the digital age. This creates a lot of confusion, disappointment, and dysfunction as we have not fully adapted, adjusted and given Romeo and Juliet cell phones, social media, Netflix, cable, podcasts and dreaded dating apps. Like the CEOs they would adapt, using technology not just as consumers but as designers of their lives. Hopefully they would be older as I think they were in their early teens in the book. They would have equal contribution to a relationship and communicate to determine their compatibility and sustainability before things got too heavy.

So in conclusion we have to take stock of our dating philosophy, and love language to determine how it fits to the modern conditions. Not to loose ourselves or deviate from our ethos and morals but to observe the external environmental changes and determine how we can maintain those qualities while thriving in the present time.