When I was a teenager I used to hang out with two family friends. One was about 16 will call her Ebony the other was about 12, I will cal her Blossom.
The two of the were like sisters though the were technically sisters in-law. Blossom looked up to Ebony. You could see that she was studying, mimicking and dressing like the Ebony. Her real older sister was in her 30s, educated and very financially successful. Honestly Ebony was not a good influence on Blossom as she was, lets say heavy into boys and discussed with Blossom things that were past her years. Ebony also had a mature body while Blossom was not going to form in a similar way. It was obvious she was insecure about her appearance and especially in the presence of Ebony.
Eventually Ebony moved away, became a single mom and I haven’t heard from her in over a decade. I only heard about her and there wasn’t much good to really report sadly.
Blossom I assume kept that insecurity about her appearance. Even thought she was a beautiful person. She educated herself and got a high paying profession but the insecurity made her vulnerable. She would discuss getting implants and things of that nature. Eventually she had a boyfriend of her own. Coupled with her insecurity and his immorality it became a bad combination.
The boyfriend was an aspiring musician and model. Putting those things together you understand that this is a person who doe not plan on working. He also had a child from a prior relationship. She bought him a car and who knows what else. Her only concern was gaining his validation and companionship. Her relationship as dysfunctional as it was gave her a indication that she was worthy. That she was physically desirable contrary to the doubts she had about her appearance throughout her teens.
Eventually she got pregnant and had a child for the musician/model. He went on to impregnate another woman while they were together. She still stayed with him. Ultimately I assume they split, as I saw him with different women about two years later.
I felt so bad for Blossom. Were all seeking validation and sometimes we seek it in places that lead to our suffering. This is why we must love ourselves, know ourselves and be truthful with ourselves. If that is not possible we must at least have a clear understanding of the intent of our significant others. A serious vetting process is required. A series of poor decisions, decisions during a vulnerable time can cost us dearly. Now Blossom is a single mother but fortunately for her, she has a supportive family and a well paying profession. Unfortunately she will have to deal with the father for the rest of her life. Sometimes its not love that we feel but the desire to fill a void that was put there by trauma.
I haven’t seen her in years but I hope she fills herself with love, confidence, knowledge, and beauty. She has a child that now depends on her relaying the hard lessons.
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