Obsession

Aaaaahhhh. O.M.G….

It’s hard to control your own mind a lot of the time. Or you can say feelings. Or you can say gut or heart. Everything is in the mind ultimately so I will just say mind.

How do you know when you are behaving in an obsessed manner? You might feel so strongly that you never take the time to notice. I would say the following are indicators:

• Compromising your morals or beliefs
• Begging
• Insomnia
• Neglecting important responsibilities
• Not listening or respecting the other person’s requests to be left alone
• Spying and/or stalking
• Excessive communication(calls, text, social media)
• Thoughts of violence and/or self harm
• Destruction of property, vandalism and/or violence

I would guess most of us have(I have) exhibited the first four of the above. I also have been somewhat of a stalker and self-harmer. Looking back I have to say I could have used my free time more effectively.

If someone will not be with you, that should be respected. I can relate with any of the above honestly. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person. If you were being pursued by a person you didn’t have an interest in, you would be very uncomfortable. It is a daily battler to deal with addiction, similarly overcoming obsession with a person is a daily battle but it gets easier as time progresses.

What ultimately saved me from evolving to a violent, 1000 text per minute, window-jump-througher was my empathy and my ego. I put myself in that person’s shoes and realized if I cared for them I would make them happy by leaving them alone. I also said to myself, how embarrassing is it, reducing myself to a worshipper of another person. While those two affirmations enabled me to end contact, stalking and self-harm there was still the habit of the cycling thoughts. Each of us has to find a way to control those cycling thoughts and I will admit as of today I am not fully “cured” but I am 75% better than I was then. I got rid of anything associated with that person. I keep myself occupied with creative activities, edifying films and articles, work, crafts, conversations with family and friends.

Don’t waste your time, energy and wonderfulness trying to pursue someone who you are ultimately making uncomfortable. Direct that energy towards yourself and developing yourself into a person you will be proud of when you look back years later.